Revelation..

I was evaluating my day this evening to determine why it was a hard one. The past few days of not sleeping, combined with running around all day long, and the fact that my angel was acting up today and throwing a tantrum didn’t go well. The spice of that mixture was just too strong for me to handle.

Special moms everywhere will tell you that when you have a special child, sleep ceases to exist. Most special children have difficulty sleeping through the night and therefore function on very little all their lives. I’ve tried to get adjusted to that way of life with no luck. I’ve always been a sleeper. Going on very little sleep for a few days just doesn’t do well with me.

It is during those times when I’m most vulnerable and thus little things bother me. The fact that my child was being a stubborn kid this afternoon really overwhelmed me. My Alex had decided to lay on the concrete in the hot Florida sun at lunchtime refusing to get in the car. We were finishing up a visit at a friend’s house when this incident took place. There was no reasoning with her. When I attributed this to her special needs, my friend said: “but that is just what other kids do! They act up sometimes and test the limits!”

What a shock!! I realized after hearing this phrase that during these past nine and a half years, I was not given the chance to be just Alex’s mom. I’ve been her: medical care giver/ nurse, medical supplier’s nightmare, advocate and fighter against all insurance denials, and a slew of other titles. I’ve been so engrossed in all the special-needs stuff that I had forgotten my utmost role of being a mom. I didn’t even recognizing that kids just act up and throw tantrums sometimes.! What a revelation..

©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.