Thanksgiving Blessings..

By Ruyi @ Hellen on Flickr

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Autumn Showers.. when angels pass by and sprinkle little blessings on all the earth.
Wishing you angel-blessings today and everyday..

-author unkown-

The above words came on a thanksgiving card that I received by email from a friend. As I read each word, I pictured my daughter, Alexandra. Everything about the card reminded me of her. She was given to me by God and delivered by his special angels. She is definitely the little blessing sprinkled unto my life like autumn showers.

I am blessed this thanksgiving to have my daughter and my family. I am thankful that my friend’s child is doing well and out of the hospital. I am humbled to have been chosen to be a special mom. I am thrilled to have been sprinkled by autumn showers..

Here’s wishing all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving!

©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

A Prayer For You..

I can’t believe that it’s been five days since my last post. I’ve tried to be very diligent about posting regularly and am rather ashamed at this lengthy delay. Life’s daily needs has a strange way of catching up with us, thus leading us on a different route than what we intended for ourselves. In my situation, my daughter, Alex has not had a good night sleep for the past five days. She seems congested and not herself. I pray for her well being as well as the well being of all the other children out there. After all, this is the flu season and our Florida weather has been playing the roller coaster game again. One day, the temps are barely 60 while the next day it is 80. This drastic change can play havoc on any system. At least we are blessed with constant sunshine so we can’t complain.

As the thanksgiving holiday approaches, I wanted to write a special post for my daughter and all the other kids out there, special or not. I’ve been thinking about this for a few days and was fortunate to find this special prayer among some old papers that I had saved. Interesting enough, I was looking for something altogether different when I came upon these special words. God has a strange way of leading us to what he wants us to find.
So here it is, a special prayer for a special girl named Alexandra and to all the other special kids out there. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I Said a Prayer for You Today

I said a prayer for you today,
And know God must have heard.
I felt the answer in my heart,
Although he spoke no words.
I didn’t ask for wealth or fame,
I knew you wouldn’t mind.
I asked Him to send treasures,
Of a far more lasting kind.
I asked that He’d be near you,
At the start of each new day.
To grant you health and blessings,
And friends to share your way.
I asked for happiness for you,
In all things great and small.
But it was for His loving care,
I prayed the most of all.
-author unkown-

©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

The Love Of My Life..

If there is one thing that I’ve learned by being a special mom is never to let my guard down when it comes to my daughter Alex. It is hard to remember this when our special kids are medically stable. We think that the picture is rosy and all will always be well. We either forget or bury the uncertainties in order to experience somewhat of a normalcy in our family life.

This has been the case for a dear friend of mine. Her special needs daughter has needed emergency medical attention at a specialized pediatric hospital this week. She came within minutes of needing a “Tracheotomy”. My friend has been very distraught. I heard the fear, anger and helplessness in her voice as she told me yesterday that her daughter is, and I quote:”She is the love of my Life. I couldn’t bear to lose her”. My heart was breaking for her anguish since the most I could do was offer words of support and encouragement. I could almost feel the fear in my friend's voice since I had felt this with Alex many times in the past.

It is without doubt that my encouraging words for her came from God. The situation was so grave that it was difficult for me to remain as strong as I did for her sake. My words came from the heart. They came from the soul of another special mom who understood. They were derived from years of anguish, stress and fear, but most of all they emerged from such strong love that cannot be surmounted.

It was thrilling to hear much better news about my friend’s child today. Her condition is improving slowly. The joy in her mother’s voice is intense. Her life was given back to her. God has definitely been watching over her and her precious child. He, yet again, has created a miracle..

My friend was so right. When God entrusts us with a special child, that child becomes “The love of our lives”..

©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

Perfection..

When a woman desires to have a child she will pray for the perfect baby. She will imagine what her child might look like. She can almost picture all the beautiful things that child will be able to accomplish. Basically she will long for a perfect child.
But what is perfection anyway? Is it a child who may get involved with the wrong crowd, or is it a child who may choose to lie or steel when they get older. Neither of the above is right; it is a happy, loving child who will bring joy and abundance daily.

In my eyes, my daughter, Alexandra is a perfect child in so many ways. In the way she hugs or kisses; or in the way her little face shines up when I pick her up at school. I see her bright eyes scanning the horizon looking out for my appearance. I recognize the wide smile that brightens her face when I finally show up. All her misgivings disappear during those times. Her angelic perfection is the only thing that shines through!!

MY PERFECT CHILD

As my children were born,I wanted them to be perfect.

When they were babies,I wanted them to smile

And be content playing with their toys.
I wanted them to be happy

And to laugh continually

In stead of crying and being demanding.

I wanted them to see the beautiful side of life.
As they grew older,I wanted them to be giving instead of selfish.

I wanted them to skip the terrible twos.

I wanted them to stay innocent forever.
As they became teen-agers,I wanted them to be obedient and not rebellious,

Mannerly and not mouthy.

I wanted them to be full of love,Gentle and kind hearted.
"Oh, God, give me a child like this" was often my prayer.
One day he did.
Some call her handicapped...
I call her Perfect!!

-Source/Author Unknown -

©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

Medical Terms..

A friend of mine was told yesterday that her child may need either a “BiPAP” or a “Tracheotomy”. She called me up to discuss this. We talked about it very intelligently using all the medical terminology that have become such a big part of our lives. Others listening to us would have thought that we were nurses or doctors. Words such as “BiPAP” or “Tracheotomy” are not everyday terms loosely used among parents, neither are: Regulators, feeding pumps, NG tubes, Oxygen tanks … etc.

As a special mom, we are thrown into a field that we probably never had a desire to be in. We find ourselves medically educated whether we wanted to or not. The experience and knowledge we gain as we care for our kids cannot be taught in any school. It results from working the daily, nightly and overtime shifts with our kids. It stems from constant consultations with doctors and medical suppliers. It is a 24 hour constant learning exerience.

If you ask me why we do this, I can honestly tell you that we do it because of our strong love and bond for those kids that God has entrusted us with. We know that we were chosen for a reason and, thus, try to do the best job that we can. We educate ourselves in all aspects in order to help our kids.

Knowledge is power and mine has become exponential!!.

©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

My Daughter's Gift..

When I was a little girl my dad wanted me to become a writer. I hated writing, but in order to please him I took many writing courses by correspondence. I must admit that all these courses helped shape my writing in college. I excelled in my papers but still never thought that one day I’d do it voluntarily.

Lo and behold, one day my daughter Alex was born and everything changed in terms of my writing. Her entire existence brings out all kinds of emotions in me. It all started out at the NICU when I would sit by her incubator and write in a journal for her. The words were my anchor. They brought me hope and strength as I waited patiently for the light at the end of the tunnel. Eight months in the NICU is a long wait for any mom. The words kept me busy. Soon, several of the NICU nurses were contributing to her journal. This small book proved to become the meeting place for anyone who wanted to pour their emotions for Alex. She touched so many hearts. It was hard not to get involved with this tiny little girl that was proving to everyone that she was truly: “Mighty, Might”.

Years later I am back writing again, this time in this blog. I find it very therapeutic to be able to pour out my feelings. I have developed a strong bond to each and every article that I have created. I finally understand the joy of writing. The freedom I experience, as I mold each word and sentence in any way I feel, is exhilarating. It is as if Alex is now shaping my life to become the writer that my dad always wanted me to be.

It’s truly strange how the world turns..

©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

Celebrating Mom..

image courteousy of: http://www.flickr.com/photos/anoved/377087113/


My daughter, Alexandra, must have known that it is her grandmother’s birthday today. As soon as my mom woke up, Alex ran to her, gave her a big hug and planted a deep wet kiss on her face.

We’re staying with my parents this weekend to celebrate my mom’s 75 birthday. It’s difficult for me to fathom that my mom is actually turning 75. It seems that only yesterday she was in her 40’s. I don’t know what happened to the time. It sure did fly.

As I watched my Alex celebrating with her grandmother, I couldn’t help by remember the first moment that my mom laid her eyes on Alex. She was so shocked and the sight in front of her left her speechless. Alex was so small with wires covering her entire body that it was difficult for my mom to make heads or tails out of this little girl laying in the Isolate. At that time, my mom just put on a strong courageous face as she looked at me and said: ”she’s beautiful”. My mom knew that I needed to hear that.

I’m fortunate to have the time to spend with my mom and my child. Alex has turned out to be beautiful just like her grandmother had predicted so many moons ago. She adores her grandparents and brings a lot of joy into their lives. Just like that moment in the NICU many years ago, my parents continue to be optimistic and trust in her bright future.
I have learned a long time ago to trust and believe my parents. I see the results every day.

Happy birthday mom!!

©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

God Knew..

I finally realized earlier this morning why God gave me my daughter Alex. God knew very well that I would take care of her. He knew that I would never, ever give her up. He knew that I would be fair to her and treat her with the respect and dignity that she deserves. He knew that I would cherish this gift of his and follow his plan for her and me.

It was a challenging morning, as many of them are with a special child. Things that others take for granted, take so much longer for us to accomplish. Alex’s behavior is like a roller coaster. I never know when we’ll be high and how fast we’ll plummet down. It is not an easy ride but we’ve made it thus far.

When the roller coaster finally took a break earlier today, she sat in mommy’s lap and gave me the best kiss on the cheek. I felt tears coming to my eyes as I wondered what I’d ever do without her. In spite of all the difficulties, I knew that I couldn’t bear life without her. She is the light of my day and I love her dearly.

It is on those mornings that I turn to God and realize that I am not alone in this. He is with me and he will always take care of things.

©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

Snow Bunny..

The temperatures here in Florida actually dipped into the upper 40’s this morning. This may not seem much for others, but for us Floridians, our blood is thin, at least mine is and a dip below 60 can throw me all off. Every year I promise myself that I would be more prepared for the cold but the change always seems to come so suddenly that it never fails to catch me off guard.

I must admit, nice cool weather combined with very low humidity results in such great sleeping conditions. It actually heart wrenching to have to leave the comfort of one’s bed to get up for school or work. Needless to say, beggars can’t be choosers and we have to get up.

http://www.professorsearch.com/search/snow

This weather change has finally suited my Alex. She had a wonderful night’s sleep last night, which doesn’t come often. This resulted in a much happier child in the morning. A child ready to go out and conquer the world. We are always amused when we see her skipping around the house as she runs in excitement for one thing or another.

I never could understand why school for special kids or any small child should start that early in the morning especially on cold mornings. But who am I to ask questions or complain, I just have to follow the rules. Therefore, in order to get Alex ready, I chose to bundle her up this morning. After all, we were having a snow drift (maybe!!) here in Florida this morning. The chill at 7:20 in the morning can be daunting for a little kid (and a big mommy, too).

It is during those mornings that I make good use of the heavy clothes that usually just sit in the closet for days on end. After all, our cold days are so numbered here in Florida. With this goal in mind, I had Alex dressed in her finest heavy gray and pink pants with a beautiful hooded fleece “strawberry short cake” pink sweater on. She actually humored me and kept the hood on while we walked across the school parking lot to get to her teacher. I do truly believe that she enjoyed the outfit and making me happy. What a beautiful site. I wish I had the thought to take her picture. I’ll have to make sure I do that the next time she is so well bundled.

My job today was done. I succeeded in keeping my “Snow Bunny” warm and happy. It just doesn’t get any better than that..

©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

Learning Time..

As a mom of a special child I have become aware of the importance of finding the right resources that can help my child. Not all learning tools or therapies are created equal, so I am in a constant search for material, therapies or supplements that can bring out Alex’s full potential. The research role associated with being a special mom can be demanding and overwhelming but nevertheless rewarding. It is a constant knocking on the door to receive the right response.

One of my goals with this blog is to find and share ideas, information or new material that I find on the Internet. Therefore, I was very excited to come across a site called:
Do2learn. In addition to information and links, the site provides a section to teach kids sequencing games or coloring. Free parent and teacher material is available and may be reproduced. The home page tells it all so here it is!

©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

The Peace Within..

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received,
and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones,
and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

-Wardah William-

http://www.triumphpc.com/netcard/images
Whenever I am lost for words, or feel that I cannot share my true feelings in a post, a wonderful message awaits me in my inbox. It is as if the heavens above know what I need for this particular day and just send it to me. This continues to happen on the occasions that I need it the most.

It is without doubt that God has been looking out for Alexandra and me since the day she was born. I find myself saying time after time that: “things happen for a reason” and there is a definite reason for my child’s birth. Some days I wonder what that reason is, other days, I know deep down that it is a legacy of love. A precious gift that I was entrusted with to mold and shape as God intended me to.

I will probably never know the reason why, but who am I to question his judgment. I must just be humbled that I was the one chosen to carry on his plan. A plan that includes a little girl, a loving mom and a whole lot of faith..

©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

Blessings..

God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect

or because we have problems or challenges.

He watches over us and even brings others into our lives

to help us when we are in need.

I am blessed in so many ways. Yes, my life has not been easy since Alex was born. There have been challenges and struggles along the way. Some days I experience such tiredness like I have never thought could exist. As you all know, raising a child with special needs is a complex matter.

However, in spite of all the hardships I am still blessed. I’m blessed to have a loving family in my husband, parents and sister. A family who I can count on whenever I need them. I’m blessed to have a life full of wonderful friends who care deeply for me. I’m blessed to be healthy and strong so that I can continue to take care of my Alex. But most of all, I’m blessed to have strong faith. It is this faith that keeps me going and lets me know that God will always send someone my way whenever I need help..

©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

The Park..

Even though we are in the first week of November, the weather has finally gotten pleasant enough here in Florida to allow us to enjoy some outdoor activities. It was actually beautiful today as the temps finally dipped to the mid to upper 70's with a soft breeze and sunshine. With this type of atmosphere just beckoning us to go out I just had to take Alex to the park so that she can enjoy the new world that has been bestowed upon us.

We were fortunate that my mom came with us since Alex and I are visiting the grandparents again this weekend. It is very important for me to involve Alex's grandparents and family in her activities. It is those moments that create memories that are hard to forget or erase. Family moments that are filled with love and laughter. Moments we can look back upon and remember with fondness.

Alex enjoyed the park experience to no end. She attempted going up the steps and sliding herself down the baby slide as grandma waited at the bottom. Initially I was helping her go up the steps to get to the top. Slowly, I realized that my child is now capable of doing this on her own. I learned a valuable lesson today. A lesson that taught me that at some points in our kids lives, we need to start letting go. This is a hard concept for me to comprehend since, due to her rough entrance into the world and her first few years of life, I have always sheltered and protected her.

The experience was irreplaceable and we will probably repeate it tomorrow. The days of good cool weather is numbered here in Florida and we need to take as much advantage of these beautiful temperatures as possible for outdoor play.

Tomorrow, I will let my Alex go up the slide alone. I will watch the wind blowing beautiful strands of hair across her face while she smiles and claps as she completes her task. I will praise God for all his blessings...

©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

The Age of Technology..

Our family was trying to make a decision on a very important topic today. We were frantically trying to determine what Alex’s user name should be once I set her up with an email address. Who would have thought a few years ago that Alex would have an email address. Definitely not the doctors who were working around the clock to save her life back at the NICU. At that time, the last thing on my husband’s and my mind is an email address. We were focused on her daily progress. Tracking her vitals minute by minute as we called the nurses at the NICU several times per day on the days that we couldn’t be there.

It took her several years to start enjoying the computer that is in her room with the touch screen that allows her to activate her games and interact with it. It is wonderful to see her little face in deep concentration as she manipulates each game and level on that screen. Her little finger stays busy going around the screen changing scenery, colors and shapes. Again, I wouldn’t have dreamt that would be possible.

Back to the email thing, we are definitely going to start a yahoo mail or hotmail account for her this weekend. She may not be verbal or know how to write but she is sure giving us feedback about her likes and dislikes of the usernames we are picking for her account. Her head shakes a strong “No” to certain names while agreeing on some others.

How times have changed with this new age of technology. Who would have thought that kids as young as five are using computers and emails. Oh Well, Alex is just another kid and she deserves her own email address so that is the plan for the weekend..

©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

Bless My Child..

It is time for another book. This one is entitled “Bless My Special Child: Prayers and Insights for Parents”. The authors are: Andre Gozier and Carolyn Lynch-Quinonez.
The review I read about the book mentioned that it is an inspirational book written for parents who are struggling with the challenges of raising a special needs child. It is understandable that such parents go through stages of emotional turmoil as they face their day-to-day situations. Many become so overwhelmed and frustrated about their lives.

This book was written by a parent of a special child and is intended to help uplift other parents’ spirits as they deal with their circumstances. The book describes the different stages of dealing with our emotions and enlightens us to the joys of being a parent of a special child and how special that child truly is.

A copy of the book can be purchased through the Amazon.com search box provided on this page.
©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.