My faith has always played a very important part in my life. I had always dreamt that I would teach my children to pray; take them to church; get involved in bible studies and all the other normal mommy-child activities that develop as the children grow. I was never prepared for the premature birth of my daughter, her long hospital stay followed by years of medical visits and endless therapies. All these detours definitely put a halter on my original plans.
Needless to say, I remained strong in my faith. I believe that it pulled me through the challenges, disappointments and gave me hope. It allowed me to see a light at the end of a very dark and long tunnel called special-needs. As I travel through this journey, I realize that I must have something to hold on to and that something happens to be my faith.
In spite of the changes in my plans, I sought at an early age to teach my daughter to pray. Special-needs or not, she was to get to know God in as best a capacity as she can understand. I feel that her innocence and purity of spirit will allow her to become that much closer to God.
One of the most precious moments that we share is her bedtime prayer. It has taken years of repetition and hand on hand training to bring her to the point of imitating the sign of the cross. It warms my heart when she smacks her little palm against her forehead in her attempt to start her prayer. She knows then to put her fist to her chest as she continues until the final clasping of both her little hands to affirm her “Amen”. These few gestures that she does may be more than many normal people may know or even attempt to do. She smiles joyfully when I tell her that it is time to say “In The Name Of The Father”. I know deep down that she realizes what that means to both her and me. She senses the strength behind the words and the emotions that comes from years of praying for her safety and health. She may not be verbal but she sure knows how to pray!!
©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
The Value Of Time..
As I searched frantically for material to post today, I came across a beautiful and heart-touching poem that was emailed to me recently. As I read the lines, I realized the importance of the message behind them. A message about setting priorities and recognizing what is most important in our lives. I wish to share the last verse of this poem, which goes like this:
Time Waits for no one
Treasure every moment you have
You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.
-author unkown-
One of the most important lessons I have learned by having my daughter, Alexandra, is the value of time. I have learned to appreciate the small, big and in-between events because they are so special. I have learned to appreciate the good and the bad because they are part of our lives and are here to stay. All These moments are irreplaceable. They are gifts given to me by God to cherish, care for and enjoy.
When Alexandra was born prematurely, my husband and I didn’t know how long we would have her. We treasured every minute we were given with her. We valued every second that we spent by her isolate. We enjoyed touching her and performing what is called Kangaroo care for her. We had no idea that her time in the NICU will last eight months; we just visited daily and cherished our moments in the hopes of a better tomorrow. We prayed for the best for her and for whatever God planned for her tiny body.
I often come across friends who are wasting their time stressing over trivial issues. Issues that are allowed to plague the minds and poison any logic that may have existed. I tell everyone, please stop and think about what you are stressing over. In most cases, it is not so important that you can’t share good times with your family and friends. Embrace them and thank God for their safety and health.
Our journey with Alex is not over yet, but it has gotten much better than the beginning. we tell her that she is loved every chance we get. We share and overcome the good times and the challenges. We are blessed that she is still here and progressing well.
I Thank God daily for giving me the wisdom and patience to realize the value of his time..
When Alexandra was born prematurely, my husband and I didn’t know how long we would have her. We treasured every minute we were given with her. We valued every second that we spent by her isolate. We enjoyed touching her and performing what is called Kangaroo care for her. We had no idea that her time in the NICU will last eight months; we just visited daily and cherished our moments in the hopes of a better tomorrow. We prayed for the best for her and for whatever God planned for her tiny body.
I often come across friends who are wasting their time stressing over trivial issues. Issues that are allowed to plague the minds and poison any logic that may have existed. I tell everyone, please stop and think about what you are stressing over. In most cases, it is not so important that you can’t share good times with your family and friends. Embrace them and thank God for their safety and health.
Our journey with Alex is not over yet, but it has gotten much better than the beginning. we tell her that she is loved every chance we get. We share and overcome the good times and the challenges. We are blessed that she is still here and progressing well.
I Thank God daily for giving me the wisdom and patience to realize the value of his time..
©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Angels Can Sing..
It is interesting how small incidents in our lives bring back a flood of memories of events gone by. Even though these memories may be buried deep down in our hearts and minds, they still succeed in becoming an integral part of our lives. As we walk through the rocky road called life, we encounter such events that leave a strong mark on our future. It is those events that create these strong unforgettable memories that become a part of us.
One of those memories of my daughter’s past came flooding to me this evening. As I left her bedside after bidding her ‘goodnight’ and thinking that she had fallen asleep, I heard a small angelic voice call out “mama, mama’ as she scrambled out of her bed to seek me out again. My heart just fluttered at the sound of her voice as I rushed back into the room and cuddled her back to sleep assuring her that “mama” is here and will not leave her side until she was asleep.
As I waited for her eyes to surrender to the slumber of sleep, I couldn’t help but recall the first time I heard my daughter’s voice. She was over a year old at the time. You see, when my daughter was born prematurely, she required to be put on a ventilator in order to survive. Due to the complexity of her birth and critical medical condition after the birth, she remained on this ventilator for over five months. The goal, at that time was to get her off the ventilator and stabilize her medically to enable her to someday come home. I never even cared about the long-term effect that the ventilator may have on her vocal cords. I just wanted to be able to hold my child and comfort her just like any other mother should.
Alexandra finally made it home at eight months of age. She arrived home on an Oxygen, tank, apnea monitor and a g-tube. We accepted and dealt with her “attachments” as our normal baby routine. Aside from smiling, she was very quite. I never thought that one-day, a few months later, I would hear a strange squeaking sound that I could not explain. A sound so small but yet so powerful. A sound so sweet that it resembled an angel singing. It suddenly dawned on me that it was my Alex’s voice. I had finally heard it.
It is a blessing that, Alex’s vocal cords had healed from the scar tissue left by the ventilator. Each time I hear her shout out “Mama’, I am yet amazed and grateful for every day and each progress that she has made. In spite of all the challenges, I thank God for letting me hear my angel sing..
©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.
One of those memories of my daughter’s past came flooding to me this evening. As I left her bedside after bidding her ‘goodnight’ and thinking that she had fallen asleep, I heard a small angelic voice call out “mama, mama’ as she scrambled out of her bed to seek me out again. My heart just fluttered at the sound of her voice as I rushed back into the room and cuddled her back to sleep assuring her that “mama” is here and will not leave her side until she was asleep.
As I waited for her eyes to surrender to the slumber of sleep, I couldn’t help but recall the first time I heard my daughter’s voice. She was over a year old at the time. You see, when my daughter was born prematurely, she required to be put on a ventilator in order to survive. Due to the complexity of her birth and critical medical condition after the birth, she remained on this ventilator for over five months. The goal, at that time was to get her off the ventilator and stabilize her medically to enable her to someday come home. I never even cared about the long-term effect that the ventilator may have on her vocal cords. I just wanted to be able to hold my child and comfort her just like any other mother should.
Alexandra finally made it home at eight months of age. She arrived home on an Oxygen, tank, apnea monitor and a g-tube. We accepted and dealt with her “attachments” as our normal baby routine. Aside from smiling, she was very quite. I never thought that one-day, a few months later, I would hear a strange squeaking sound that I could not explain. A sound so small but yet so powerful. A sound so sweet that it resembled an angel singing. It suddenly dawned on me that it was my Alex’s voice. I had finally heard it.
It is a blessing that, Alex’s vocal cords had healed from the scar tissue left by the ventilator. Each time I hear her shout out “Mama’, I am yet amazed and grateful for every day and each progress that she has made. In spite of all the challenges, I thank God for letting me hear my angel sing..
©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
When A Child Cares Enough To..
A few months ago I had posted about the special friendship that my daughter, Alexandra, had found in a little girl we met at a local library.
See postings (08-30-07 and 09-27-07)
This special bond continues to blossom and progress into a dear relationship that I hope my daughter will have for a long time to come. It has been a great experience that has allowed Alex to blend right in and enjoy the normal child’s play that every child should have had growing up. In her situation, her special needs combined with the past years spent in medical clinics had deprived her of this childhood playtime.
As the holidays came to an end, I was thrilled to be able to reunite my daughter with her friend once more when we started our weekly library ritual last Thursday afternoon. It was great to see our friend but I was very surprised when I found her less 10” of hair. You see, my daughter’s friend had very long hair last year. It was a bigger surprised when I asked her why she cut it and she looked at me innocently and replied “to give it to the sick kids”. I felt tears swell in my eyes as I marveled at the care, love and selflessness that this one child has shown. I admired her family who had instilled such deep values in her to allow her to think about all the other suffering children out there who need help. I came to see why she adores my child and keeps her as a friend. I began to understand why she takes her by the hand, reads to her and enjoys her company.
I’ve always believed in guardian angles, and at that moment I felt that I had seen my daughter’s angel in front of me..
For more information about hair donations for sick children please visit the following sites:
Wigs for Kids and Locks of Love
©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.
See postings (08-30-07 and 09-27-07)
This special bond continues to blossom and progress into a dear relationship that I hope my daughter will have for a long time to come. It has been a great experience that has allowed Alex to blend right in and enjoy the normal child’s play that every child should have had growing up. In her situation, her special needs combined with the past years spent in medical clinics had deprived her of this childhood playtime.
As the holidays came to an end, I was thrilled to be able to reunite my daughter with her friend once more when we started our weekly library ritual last Thursday afternoon. It was great to see our friend but I was very surprised when I found her less 10” of hair. You see, my daughter’s friend had very long hair last year. It was a bigger surprised when I asked her why she cut it and she looked at me innocently and replied “to give it to the sick kids”. I felt tears swell in my eyes as I marveled at the care, love and selflessness that this one child has shown. I admired her family who had instilled such deep values in her to allow her to think about all the other suffering children out there who need help. I came to see why she adores my child and keeps her as a friend. I began to understand why she takes her by the hand, reads to her and enjoys her company.
I’ve always believed in guardian angles, and at that moment I felt that I had seen my daughter’s angel in front of me..
For more information about hair donations for sick children please visit the following sites:
Wigs for Kids and Locks of Love
©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
The Reception..
Some moments in life are irreplaceable. They are, forever, treasured in our hearts and etched in our memory book. It is those moments that make everything worthwhile and help in eliminating challenges, if but for a moment or two. It is those moments that I experienced last night as I arrived back home past 8:00 p.m from a weekly class that I participate in. I had a hunch that my daughter Alex will still be waiting up for me in spite of spending a quality evening with her dad. There is just that special bond between a mom and a daughter that is hard to break. I know that I have that with my mom.
As I walked into our house, Alex turns towards the door with the widest smile shining her beautiful face. She scrambled to run over to me repeating “mama, mama”. She threw her arms around me as I cuddled her and showered her face with kisses. She held on to me as if I had been gone for days and not just an hour and a half. I held her as she settled down in her bed still firmly saying “mama, mama” to show me her joy at my arrival. Her happiness was sincere and her love is pure. I was the happiest mom in the world.
It is moments like those that I turn up to God and thank him again and again for all our blessings. Thank him for the miracle that is my child..
©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.
As I walked into our house, Alex turns towards the door with the widest smile shining her beautiful face. She scrambled to run over to me repeating “mama, mama”. She threw her arms around me as I cuddled her and showered her face with kisses. She held on to me as if I had been gone for days and not just an hour and a half. I held her as she settled down in her bed still firmly saying “mama, mama” to show me her joy at my arrival. Her happiness was sincere and her love is pure. I was the happiest mom in the world.
It is moments like those that I turn up to God and thank him again and again for all our blessings. Thank him for the miracle that is my child..
©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
The Secret to Happiness..
I have learned there is little I can do
in my life that will make me truly happy.
I must depend on God to make
me happy and to meet my needs.
When a need arises in my life,
I have to trust God to supply
according to HIS riches.
I have learned most of the time
I don't need half of what I think I do.
He has never let me down.
Since I learned that 'Secret,' I am happy.'
-author unkown-
I am often asked "Is she this happy always?" referring to my daughter, Alexandra. My reply is: "Yes, she is a happy child". This conversation constantly comes up even with strangers that we meet in the store or the park. It just occurred recently when we visited an assisted living facility during the Christmas holiday to bring cheer to the residents. Alex’s smile was contagious as she took the hearts of the seniors with her jovial personality and happy face.
As I reflect on that visit and many others where “Alex’s happiness” has been well noticed, I am filled with joy. I realize that, as a family, we must be doing something right to enable this child to be noticeably happy. In spite of the challenges that come with Alex’s special needs, we are still blessed with pure happiness. I believe that my faith has become much stronger since her birth. As difficult as it may seem sometimes, I’ve learned that it is ultimately up to God to supply all our needs. Things always seem to take a turn for the better and follow a course that I never accepted it would.
I see God’s miracles and wonder in my child’s happy face. I know that his Grace has provided this tiny girl with everything she needs and blessed our family with happiness above all else. I’m learning to leave everything up to him and stop mapping out my life…
©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.
As I reflect on that visit and many others where “Alex’s happiness” has been well noticed, I am filled with joy. I realize that, as a family, we must be doing something right to enable this child to be noticeably happy. In spite of the challenges that come with Alex’s special needs, we are still blessed with pure happiness. I believe that my faith has become much stronger since her birth. As difficult as it may seem sometimes, I’ve learned that it is ultimately up to God to supply all our needs. Things always seem to take a turn for the better and follow a course that I never accepted it would.
I see God’s miracles and wonder in my child’s happy face. I know that his Grace has provided this tiny girl with everything she needs and blessed our family with happiness above all else. I’m learning to leave everything up to him and stop mapping out my life…
©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.
Monday, January 7, 2008
New Year Resolutions..
Happy New Year from our home to yours. This is my first posting for 2008 so I would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone health, wealth and happiness for this upcoming year.
It has been a few weeks since my last substantial posting. No, I haven’t forgotten about my blog or my postings, I have just been rescheduling my priorities. As much as I have come to enjoy blogging and pouring out my true emotions, I felt that I needed to regroup and what better time to do that than during Christmas and especially when my daughter, Alex was out of school.
As I look back at the previous year, I see many aspects that need to be changed. I realize that life is too short and we need to enjoy and cherish every moment of it. Each moment that goes by does not return. I tried to focus on this as I made my New Year resolution for this upcoming year. It’s a tradition that must be accomplished so what better time to come up with this than when I am having a revelation. I concentrated on the true priorities in my life, which are my daughter Alex, and my family. They are my pillar of strength and my fountain of youth. Spending time with them is so precious that I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Setting the emotional stuff aside, I would still like to share the small joys of the past few weeks. They have been filled with tree trimming, holiday shopping and family gathering as well as the sniffles and colds that were shared liberally among our entire family. In spite of the sniffles, we managed to have a great time. Alex has come a long way since last Christmas and actually helped me with putting our tree together, as well as taking it down. She took this job very seriously as she piled each green branch on top of the other back in the box where they belonged to be packed away for next year. She enjoyed looking at the lights adorning the tree and even participated in some gift opening. She tolerated the entire holiday event much better and aside from one tumble, our tree survived the holiday season also.
School is back in session this morning. Overall, Alex tolerated going back ok. Things seem to be going back to normal. What a joyous time it has been..
©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.
It has been a few weeks since my last substantial posting. No, I haven’t forgotten about my blog or my postings, I have just been rescheduling my priorities. As much as I have come to enjoy blogging and pouring out my true emotions, I felt that I needed to regroup and what better time to do that than during Christmas and especially when my daughter, Alex was out of school.
As I look back at the previous year, I see many aspects that need to be changed. I realize that life is too short and we need to enjoy and cherish every moment of it. Each moment that goes by does not return. I tried to focus on this as I made my New Year resolution for this upcoming year. It’s a tradition that must be accomplished so what better time to come up with this than when I am having a revelation. I concentrated on the true priorities in my life, which are my daughter Alex, and my family. They are my pillar of strength and my fountain of youth. Spending time with them is so precious that I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Setting the emotional stuff aside, I would still like to share the small joys of the past few weeks. They have been filled with tree trimming, holiday shopping and family gathering as well as the sniffles and colds that were shared liberally among our entire family. In spite of the sniffles, we managed to have a great time. Alex has come a long way since last Christmas and actually helped me with putting our tree together, as well as taking it down. She took this job very seriously as she piled each green branch on top of the other back in the box where they belonged to be packed away for next year. She enjoyed looking at the lights adorning the tree and even participated in some gift opening. She tolerated the entire holiday event much better and aside from one tumble, our tree survived the holiday season also.
School is back in session this morning. Overall, Alex tolerated going back ok. Things seem to be going back to normal. What a joyous time it has been..
©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.
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