As I watch my daughter, Alexandra, take the few steps that separate me from her teacher and walk independently away to school, I cannot help but be filled with pride and happiness at this accomplishment. It is a joyous moment when a child gains independent skills that are so crucial for daily survival. This triumphant feeling is manifested a thousand times more when the child is a special needs child.
It is always difficult for any mom to let go of her child. After all, this is the helpless creature that has been totally dependent on mom up to a certain moment in time. When a child has special needs, the “letting go” concept does not exist. It does not come as a natural progression with a child’s growth but is a skill that must be learned. A special mom must be taught this new idea and totally digest it before accepting its consequences. After all, this is the helpless creature that she had saved its life with Oxygen, rushed to the hospital on more than one too many occasion, fed by a tube and dedicated her entire existence for. With that in mind, it is almost impossible to completely “let go”.
This foreign endeavor finally came upon Alex and I recently. For the past four years, I have held her hand and walked her to the teacher daily. It never even occurred to me that, at some point, she would be ready to walk herself without my support. Thus the past few weeks have brought about a new dimension to Alex’s independence. They have shown me that she is capable of more than I, as a mom, can always see. They have taught me the meaning of letting go slowly as I cherish each new milestone that is celebrated in both of our lives.
As she made her way to her classmates and teacher this morning, she turned around, mid way across her path. She gave me the encouraging and mischievous grin that I associate with my child. I could almost hear her say: “I’ll be fine mommy”…
©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
A League Of Our Own..
A few days ago, a beautiful mother’s day poem called “Before I became a Mom” appeared in my inbox. I loved the poem but as I read it, I realized that something was missing. It had no mention whatsoever, about special children. Therefore, it spoke nothing about “before becoming a special mom”.
I have been thinking about this for a few days and decided to write my own version of “before I became a special mom”. I want this to be a tribute to all the special moms raising special kids. You see, us special moms form a league of our own. The entire mother-child relationship is different in this league. We have experienced situations that no other mom even knew existed. We have shared and witnessed medical events that no other child should have had to go through. In spite of all this, we are still moms and our special kids celebrate us also.
Here is my version of the poem:
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never witnessed a child gasping for breath as they wait intubation
I had never seen a child’s hollow chest cavity after a lung collapse.
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never experienced feeding a child through a stomach tube
I have never been exposed to terms such as “Oxygen saturations, Accu-checks and blood gases”
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never realized that I would learn new technologies like how to operate an Oxygen regulator, an apnea monitor or a feeding pump.
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never been involved in disputes concerning Insurance coverage.
I had never spent my entire day researching medical answers or seeking dwindling services.
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never seen a child turning blue as their SATS drop below 60%
I had never held a child who was having an epileptic seizure.
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never been trained to be a nurse, therapist and a mother all at one time.
I had never acquired extensive medical knowledge that I could’ve done without.
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never attended an “IEP”
Or worried about my child’s care since she can’t tell me
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never known the meaning of loving a special child,
The love, the joy and heartaches associated with it are irreplaceable
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never realized how strong I truly am
I had never known the true me inside…
Happy Special Mom’s day ….
So to all you special moms out there, I admire and salute your courage and dedication. I am sure glad that we have this league of our own…
I have been thinking about this for a few days and decided to write my own version of “before I became a special mom”. I want this to be a tribute to all the special moms raising special kids. You see, us special moms form a league of our own. The entire mother-child relationship is different in this league. We have experienced situations that no other mom even knew existed. We have shared and witnessed medical events that no other child should have had to go through. In spite of all this, we are still moms and our special kids celebrate us also.
Here is my version of the poem:
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never witnessed a child gasping for breath as they wait intubation
I had never seen a child’s hollow chest cavity after a lung collapse.
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never experienced feeding a child through a stomach tube
I have never been exposed to terms such as “Oxygen saturations, Accu-checks and blood gases”
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never realized that I would learn new technologies like how to operate an Oxygen regulator, an apnea monitor or a feeding pump.
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never been involved in disputes concerning Insurance coverage.
I had never spent my entire day researching medical answers or seeking dwindling services.
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never seen a child turning blue as their SATS drop below 60%
I had never held a child who was having an epileptic seizure.
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never been trained to be a nurse, therapist and a mother all at one time.
I had never acquired extensive medical knowledge that I could’ve done without.
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never attended an “IEP”
Or worried about my child’s care since she can’t tell me
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never known the meaning of loving a special child,
The love, the joy and heartaches associated with it are irreplaceable
Before I became a Special Mom
I had never realized how strong I truly am
I had never known the true me inside…
Happy Special Mom’s day ….
So to all you special moms out there, I admire and salute your courage and dedication. I am sure glad that we have this league of our own…
©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.
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