The first thing I did this morning upon waking up was to thank the Lord for giving me yet another year with my amazing daughter Alexandra. It is, after all, Alex’s thirteenth birthday. A day that becomes more special every year that passes along. A day that her daddy and I never thought we would celebrate year after year. A day that we don’t ever take for granted, but cherish its every moment.
I started thinking about writing this post about a month ago. It has been on my mind daily but somehow, the writer in me was not awake enough to help mold the words I wanted to say. Since the day she turned ten, I have been writing a birthday post for Alex every year and I did not want this to be the year that I ignore.
I couldn’t help but wonder why I was procrastinating all those days. I couldn’t help but ponder on why I was ignoring this task when I should have been writing this post and preparing it to be published on her birthday. It did not dawn on me until this morning why that is so. I realized as I woke up the significance of the intense emotions that I go through on this day every year. I understood that my inner writer had to acknowledge those deep feelings before I can even begin to write my annual birthday post.
A Thirteenth birthday is usually a very special event. It signifies an important stepping stone in a child’s life as that child transitions from babyhood into the teen years and continues on unto adulthood. It is a rights’ of passage for each of us and thus cannot be taken lightly. In our household, this right’s of passage is more than just a birthday. It is more than gifts, cake and candles. It is but a testimony of survival. A testimony that God works in miraculous ways in our lives. A testimony of the unconditional love that a mother has for her child. A testimony of the strength that I never, ever thought that I had in me.
As I reflect upon those past Thirteen year, I am yet again at awe and humbled by my Lord for choosing me to raise this special little girl. She is after all his Miracle child from the start. I see her today dancing to her music, playing on her computer and laughing at hers or our jokes. As I witness this, I still cannot erase the first image I had of my child thirteen years ago. An image that is ingrained in my mind and heart and can never be forgotten or replaced by any other. An image of a tiny body with a ping pong size head and spaghetti thin arms and legs. An image of a preemie born weighing only 12 ounces and measuring only 8 inches. I cannot help but reflect upon the past, upon the years that should have been filled with normal growth and happiness, but which were filled with medical horrors and fear.Years, that I do not wish upon any parent or child. Years that made us stronger and molded our destiny to bring us to this date.
As each birthday passes, I think of that first birthday that we were told would never happen. I then marvel at the approach of the second birthday which came in spite of all the medical complexities that we were dealing with. Deep down in my heart, I feel that my daughter’s true birthdays started at age ten. It was only by then that her condition was stable enough for her to start enjoying life as any other child should. However, the past is there and can never be erased.
Today, we celebrated with and for Alex. We ate, drank, danced and sang and had a wonderful day. We laughed as we cheered and said “Alex is a Teen today…Watch out world.. Here she comes..”
Happy Thirteenth Birthday Teen…
©Copyright 2011 .Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved
