As I discussed Alex’s communication needs over the phone yesterday, the therapist I was talking to me: “You are, first of all, a mom and then if you choose to be a therapist you can do that, but don’t forget that you are a mom. If you want to do therapy with your child then set limits to the time that you take on that role. Don’t let the guilt factor consume you because it will.”
For that I replied: “I’d rather not be a therapist but as you probably know, a special mom is driven. We never stop our quest.”
The above conversation left a big impact on me. I’ve been thinking about it so much that I mentioned it to a friend today who happens to also be a special mom. I guess we do lose our mom role when we have a special child. And, yes, we are still overwhelmed with guilt and hurt about our child’s situation. This may never go away but it can probably get easier if we let it. It shouldn’t really disappear completely because it is part of our life and our family’s life. It is already etched in stone and cannot be totally erased. It would be futile to expect it to.
What we must do is try to set limitations on our intense drive for solutions and perfection. If we truly examine everything, there is no real perfection in our world anyway so why should we seek it. We can continue to search and learn about new methods to help our kids but most of all we should just be mom. Sometimes, that’s just what our child needs more than anything else..
©Copyright 2007.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.
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