Sweet Sixteen..

As I helped my special needs daughter, Alexandra, get ready for school this morning, I noticed that her hair band had fallen and her gorgeous long hair was fanning her shoulders and back.  I had recently started using my shampoo and conditioner to wash her hair.  The silkiness brought on by the combination of the two has been contributing to the band falling out on more occasion than one. 

I saw her tilt her head just so to move the silky strands as she used her hand to brush the hair aside.  The gesture was so beautiful that I stared for a few minutes and allowed her to continue moving her hair before I intervened to braid it for her as I normally do in the morning.

I realized at that point that I have just found the words I have been so desperately searching for this past month to use for my daughter’s birthday post.  I had struggled for days sitting at the computer thinking about the upcoming birthday, my commitment to write a birthday post and what it all meant to me. 

I have been trying to write this post for almost a month.  I guess that, after all these years, this post still remains the most difficult as well as joyous for me to write. Difficult, because it brings back the memories of days and nights that I have been trying to burry and forget. Joyous, for it reminds me of the miraculous child that was gifted to me;  Sixteen years ago to care for and nurture.

Alexandra’s grand entry into the world was memorable to say the least.  Her micro preemie stature of a mere 12 ounces in weight and 8 inches in height broke the record of the smallest preemie baby born at that hospital. Her Seven plus months of stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU)  was also the longest period any preemie had stayed.

This year has brought on so many new things in Alex’s and our lives. My daughter is flourishing and enjoying more adult-like activities. In spite of her special needs, she attended her first dance only a few weeks ago and what an event that was. We were the proudest parents to be able to drop her off at the dance hall on a Friday night and leave her for sometime before going back to pick her up. A normal activity to some, but a huge step for us.

A few weeks after the dance, Alex was able to participate in a fund raiser walk for Easter Seals as their ambassador.  She had been involved with our local Easter Seals on and off for the past thirteen years. It was a proud moment when they requested that she be one of the ambassadors.  It was a thrill to start an “Team Alex” and lobby for walkers.  I did not fathom, at the time, at how the turnout would be.  The response and support from our family and friends was overwhelming; joyous; and emotional. I had known that Alex had touched many lives but did not realize, until that moment, how many she had actually touched.  The love that came with each support was unmeasurable. The actual event proved to be a great success.

As my daughter’s birthday approached this year, I finally started what I had promised myself that I would do years ago and that is writing her story in a book. This book will be the legacy I leave for her and my gift to her for the future.  The first book documents the beginning and her Seven months stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care unit. I am still at awe when I read the notes; clinical resume;  and lists that I have kept together all these years.  The six page clinical resume still amazes me.  I continue to thank God each and every day for the miracle of Alex. I am humbled at the fact that he had brought her into my life and entrusted me to care for her. I tear at the medical words written on those pages, so long ago,  but know, without a shadow of the doubt, that God had made it all possible. 

This morning’s hair incident may not be significant to others but to me it signifies a lot. This simple gesture signifies Alex’s new teen personality. I had used baby shampoo for so many years that using an adult shampoo was a new experience for me.  As I shopped for her birthday presents, I had to continue to remind myself that my daughter is no longer a baby or toddler.  She is a teenager with a teen’s personality and traits.  I have now graduated to shopping in the teen aisle.  A new revelation  but just the beginning of a bright and beautiful future.

As I end this post, I quote from the Thank you dedication I wrote in Alex’s book:

“To God, for with him everything is possible and nothing is impossible”

Happy Sweet Sixteen Alex..

© Copyright 2014 .Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved