Uncertainties..

There's never really been a time in my life that I haven't been led into the right path or given a sign that all will be well. Throughout all the difficulties and challenges that I faced during my daughter's seven months stay at the NICU after her birth, I still remained strong in my faith. Strong enough to the point of being able to identify all of God's signs for me and my daughter as we embarked on the most difficult of our journeys that was about to start.

However, as a human being and as a mom of a special child, I cannot help but be faced by uncertainties at various times. Usually, this occurs when I am about to make a decision regarding Alexandra's health care. I have always been a planner. I've always prepared lists and laid out the perfect path for everything that should take place in my life. I liked to know that I had made the right decisions in those aspects.

I experienced those uncertainties this past week as I tried to decide on a course of action regarding my daughter's health. It is a blessing that, during such times, I know that I can turn to my sister for help and support. I am very blessed by her presence and her way of putting things back into perspective for me. I needed reassurance and she was just the one to give it. She emailed me just the right article that I needed to help ease up my mind and allow me to feel better about the decisions I were about to make. I quote from this article this paragraph that I held dear:

"Knowing God's will can never remove the uncertainty--nor should it. The uncertainty is good for us because it keeps us trusting and praying, it keeps us from being overly self-confident.
When your heart is right and you are faced with two good choices, take either one you like. And trust God with the result. If the heart is willing, the decisions of life will take care of themselves because God will direct your steps exactly where he wants you to be."

As I read and reread the article I was filled with such calmness and serenity. A clamness that assured me that, in spite of all the uncertainties, God will lead me to make the right decision.
After all, it is ultimately God who will put together the pieces of my life just like they are meant to go...

For additional information about the above article, please visit: When You Have Two Good Choices.

©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

God's Plan..

I’ve often wondered about what God’s plan might be for me. It is almost ten years since my daughter, Alexandra was delivered prematurely by emergency c-section due to my developing sudden preeclampsia. Never would I ever imagined or thought of preeclampsia when I became pregnant. After all, I was fairly healthy, never smoked or drank. I was working and progressing in my professional career, happily married and desperately wanting a baby. All of the above should have molded the perfect equation for a safe pregnancy and a healthy baby.

I’ve learned throughout these years that God has a different plan laid out for me. I may have lost a professional career but I have gained a stronger spiritual and emotional career that I will not trade. I have had the opportunity to meet and befriend special people that I would never have met if it weren’t for Alex. I have made bonds and friendships that will last a lifetime.

Above all, I have been entrusted with a beautiful and loving little girl that is a part of my heart. A daughter that is more than a special gift. A child that is here today because of God’s plan. Special needs or not, In God’s eyes and mine she is a perfect child.

Whatever His plan may be, I am certain that it will be a great one and I am lucky to be here waiting to receive its abundance!!

©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

Valentine Wishes..

The most precious valentine poem came in my in box today and I just had to share it with everyone. Happy valentine!!














©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

I Believe In Miracles..

As we walk along this long path called life, we often encounter situations that we either unconsciously bury in the back of our memories or deliberately avoid discussing due to certain traumas or hurt feelings that are associated with such an event.

It is by no means that I intend to ever forget my daughter’s premature birth or her long NICU hospital stay. At 26 weeks gestation, she arrived weighing barely 12 ounces and measuring only 8 inches in length. Her chances of survival were very slim. With all that still fresh in the back of my mind, I can’t help but be moved when I discuss the events that went on during those long first eight months of her life ten years ago. I can’t even explain or express the feelings that engulf me when I remember those lonely days and nights gone by. Those first few months are forever engrained in our lives. They shaped my daughter to become who she is today and for me to grow into the mom that I am today. Many a times, I had wished that things would have been different for her starting out. However, that was out of my control. The endless wait was unforgiving, and the longing for a homecoming was unbearable. I never would have wished such a traumatic birth and after-birth unto any mother or child. In spite of it all, we made the most out of the cards that we were dealt.

About three weeks after my daughter, Alex, was born, my sister approached me saying:”we must take pictures”. I questioned her request with a bewildered and puzzled look asking: “pictures of whom?” Her reply was simple:” Alex, of course!”. At that moment in time, pictures of the new baby were the furthest thing from my mind. As I looked into the four enclosed glass compartment that housed my tiny child, I wondered if my Alex would even appear in those pictures. It was a new concept that I had to digest.

I will forever be indebted to my sister for taking those pictures. As difficult and as hard as it was at the time, it had to be done. They remain as a symbol of the miracle that is my daughter and I hold them dear to my heart.

It is those same pictures that brought about the Déjà vu that I experienced this evening. I was sharing them with a friend in dance class. As a physician, she understood very well the complexity of the situation. She was at awe at those pictures and could not believe the story that I was telling her. I could barely believe it myself! It seems that it had happened to someone else and not us.

As she turned to me asking how we could’ve survived such a difficult past and reached to were we are today, I had no other explanation but to tell her that: ”I always believed in Miracles..”

©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

A Special Request..

After publishing my previous post “When My Daughter Prays”, I received a request from a parent to post a child’s bedtime prayer. I am sharing the following two prayers that were found on a children’s prayer website as a response. I particularly liked the “Good Night, God” prayer since it is short and very suitable for very young children just learning their words. The website is called “Children Pray: Advent and Christmas” and lists many other prayers that parents can share with their children.
Here are the prayers:

Thank You, God

The sun so bright up in the sky.

The moon I see way, way up high!

The soft green grass, the plants, the trees

are special giftsGod made for me.

All the people that I love

are blessed by Jesus up above.

My neighbors, friends and family

are special gifts God gave to me.

What gift can I give you my God

in heaven up above?

The thing you want the most from me

is pure and simple...Love!

--Margaret Kennedy

Good Night, God

I love you, God,

with all my might.

Keep me safe

all through the night.

--Margaret Kennedy

©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

When My Daughter Prays..

My faith has always played a very important part in my life. I had always dreamt that I would teach my children to pray; take them to church; get involved in bible studies and all the other normal mommy-child activities that develop as the children grow. I was never prepared for the premature birth of my daughter, her long hospital stay followed by years of medical visits and endless therapies. All these detours definitely put a halter on my original plans.

Needless to say, I remained strong in my faith. I believe that it pulled me through the challenges, disappointments and gave me hope. It allowed me to see a light at the end of a very dark and long tunnel called special-needs. As I travel through this journey, I realize that I must have something to hold on to and that something happens to be my faith.

In spite of the changes in my plans, I sought at an early age to teach my daughter to pray. Special-needs or not, she was to get to know God in as best a capacity as she can understand. I feel that her innocence and purity of spirit will allow her to become that much closer to God.

One of the most precious moments that we share is her bedtime prayer. It has taken years of repetition and hand on hand training to bring her to the point of imitating the sign of the cross. It warms my heart when she smacks her little palm against her forehead in her attempt to start her prayer. She knows then to put her fist to her chest as she continues until the final clasping of both her little hands to affirm her “Amen”. These few gestures that she does may be more than many normal people may know or even attempt to do. She smiles joyfully when I tell her that it is time to say “In The Name Of The Father”. I know deep down that she realizes what that means to both her and me. She senses the strength behind the words and the emotions that comes from years of praying for her safety and health. She may not be verbal but she sure knows how to pray!!

©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

The Value Of Time..

As I searched frantically for material to post today, I came across a beautiful and heart-touching poem that was emailed to me recently. As I read the lines, I realized the importance of the message behind them. A message about setting priorities and recognizing what is most important in our lives. I wish to share the last verse of this poem, which goes like this:

Time Waits for no one
Treasure every moment you have
You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.

-author unkown-

One of the most important lessons I have learned by having my daughter, Alexandra, is the value of time. I have learned to appreciate the small, big and in-between events because they are so special. I have learned to appreciate the good and the bad because they are part of our lives and are here to stay. All These moments are irreplaceable. They are gifts given to me by God to cherish, care for and enjoy.

When Alexandra was born prematurely, my husband and I didn’t know how long we would have her. We treasured every minute we were given with her. We valued every second that we spent by her isolate. We enjoyed touching her and performing what is called Kangaroo care for her. We had no idea that her time in the NICU will last eight months; we just visited daily and cherished our moments in the hopes of a better tomorrow. We prayed for the best for her and for whatever God planned for her tiny body.

I often come across friends who are wasting their time stressing over trivial issues. Issues that are allowed to plague the minds and poison any logic that may have existed. I tell everyone, please stop and think about what you are stressing over. In most cases, it is not so important that you can’t share good times with your family and friends. Embrace them and thank God for their safety and health.

Our journey with Alex is not over yet, but it has gotten much better than the beginning. we tell her that she is loved every chance we get. We share and overcome the good times and the challenges. We are blessed that she is still here and progressing well.

I Thank God daily for giving me the wisdom and patience to realize the value of his time..

©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.