Uncertainties..

There's never really been a time in my life that I haven't been led into the right path or given a sign that all will be well. Throughout all the difficulties and challenges that I faced during my daughter's seven months stay at the NICU after her birth, I still remained strong in my faith. Strong enough to the point of being able to identify all of God's signs for me and my daughter as we embarked on the most difficult of our journeys that was about to start.

However, as a human being and as a mom of a special child, I cannot help but be faced by uncertainties at various times. Usually, this occurs when I am about to make a decision regarding Alexandra's health care. I have always been a planner. I've always prepared lists and laid out the perfect path for everything that should take place in my life. I liked to know that I had made the right decisions in those aspects.

I experienced those uncertainties this past week as I tried to decide on a course of action regarding my daughter's health. It is a blessing that, during such times, I know that I can turn to my sister for help and support. I am very blessed by her presence and her way of putting things back into perspective for me. I needed reassurance and she was just the one to give it. She emailed me just the right article that I needed to help ease up my mind and allow me to feel better about the decisions I were about to make. I quote from this article this paragraph that I held dear:

"Knowing God's will can never remove the uncertainty--nor should it. The uncertainty is good for us because it keeps us trusting and praying, it keeps us from being overly self-confident.
When your heart is right and you are faced with two good choices, take either one you like. And trust God with the result. If the heart is willing, the decisions of life will take care of themselves because God will direct your steps exactly where he wants you to be."

As I read and reread the article I was filled with such calmness and serenity. A clamness that assured me that, in spite of all the uncertainties, God will lead me to make the right decision.
After all, it is ultimately God who will put together the pieces of my life just like they are meant to go...

For additional information about the above article, please visit: When You Have Two Good Choices.

©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

God's Plan..

I’ve often wondered about what God’s plan might be for me. It is almost ten years since my daughter, Alexandra was delivered prematurely by emergency c-section due to my developing sudden preeclampsia. Never would I ever imagined or thought of preeclampsia when I became pregnant. After all, I was fairly healthy, never smoked or drank. I was working and progressing in my professional career, happily married and desperately wanting a baby. All of the above should have molded the perfect equation for a safe pregnancy and a healthy baby.

I’ve learned throughout these years that God has a different plan laid out for me. I may have lost a professional career but I have gained a stronger spiritual and emotional career that I will not trade. I have had the opportunity to meet and befriend special people that I would never have met if it weren’t for Alex. I have made bonds and friendships that will last a lifetime.

Above all, I have been entrusted with a beautiful and loving little girl that is a part of my heart. A daughter that is more than a special gift. A child that is here today because of God’s plan. Special needs or not, In God’s eyes and mine she is a perfect child.

Whatever His plan may be, I am certain that it will be a great one and I am lucky to be here waiting to receive its abundance!!

©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

Valentine Wishes..

The most precious valentine poem came in my in box today and I just had to share it with everyone. Happy valentine!!














©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

I Believe In Miracles..

As we walk along this long path called life, we often encounter situations that we either unconsciously bury in the back of our memories or deliberately avoid discussing due to certain traumas or hurt feelings that are associated with such an event.

It is by no means that I intend to ever forget my daughter’s premature birth or her long NICU hospital stay. At 26 weeks gestation, she arrived weighing barely 12 ounces and measuring only 8 inches in length. Her chances of survival were very slim. With all that still fresh in the back of my mind, I can’t help but be moved when I discuss the events that went on during those long first eight months of her life ten years ago. I can’t even explain or express the feelings that engulf me when I remember those lonely days and nights gone by. Those first few months are forever engrained in our lives. They shaped my daughter to become who she is today and for me to grow into the mom that I am today. Many a times, I had wished that things would have been different for her starting out. However, that was out of my control. The endless wait was unforgiving, and the longing for a homecoming was unbearable. I never would have wished such a traumatic birth and after-birth unto any mother or child. In spite of it all, we made the most out of the cards that we were dealt.

About three weeks after my daughter, Alex, was born, my sister approached me saying:”we must take pictures”. I questioned her request with a bewildered and puzzled look asking: “pictures of whom?” Her reply was simple:” Alex, of course!”. At that moment in time, pictures of the new baby were the furthest thing from my mind. As I looked into the four enclosed glass compartment that housed my tiny child, I wondered if my Alex would even appear in those pictures. It was a new concept that I had to digest.

I will forever be indebted to my sister for taking those pictures. As difficult and as hard as it was at the time, it had to be done. They remain as a symbol of the miracle that is my daughter and I hold them dear to my heart.

It is those same pictures that brought about the Déjà vu that I experienced this evening. I was sharing them with a friend in dance class. As a physician, she understood very well the complexity of the situation. She was at awe at those pictures and could not believe the story that I was telling her. I could barely believe it myself! It seems that it had happened to someone else and not us.

As she turned to me asking how we could’ve survived such a difficult past and reached to were we are today, I had no other explanation but to tell her that: ”I always believed in Miracles..”

©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.

A Special Request..

After publishing my previous post “When My Daughter Prays”, I received a request from a parent to post a child’s bedtime prayer. I am sharing the following two prayers that were found on a children’s prayer website as a response. I particularly liked the “Good Night, God” prayer since it is short and very suitable for very young children just learning their words. The website is called “Children Pray: Advent and Christmas” and lists many other prayers that parents can share with their children.
Here are the prayers:

Thank You, God

The sun so bright up in the sky.

The moon I see way, way up high!

The soft green grass, the plants, the trees

are special giftsGod made for me.

All the people that I love

are blessed by Jesus up above.

My neighbors, friends and family

are special gifts God gave to me.

What gift can I give you my God

in heaven up above?

The thing you want the most from me

is pure and simple...Love!

--Margaret Kennedy

Good Night, God

I love you, God,

with all my might.

Keep me safe

all through the night.

--Margaret Kennedy

©Copyright 2008.Najwa S. Hirn. All rights reserved.